*looks at herself in the mirror, squirms guiltily*
Will make myself remember to ask up front whether you want fixing mind or listening ear when this subject comes up in the future; please also feel free & empowered to do the phone equivalent of bopping me on the nose - 'bit not good now, J.J.' (to steal a phrase from BBC Sherlock) / etc. - when I stray into unwanted territory on any subject and I will a.) stop, b.) thank you for it, and c.) wait for your cue on what you'd prefer to talk about instead.
That saying about good fences making good neighbors? Good boundaries are essential for good relationships; feeling comfortable about setting them with someone & trusting that they feel comfortable communicating theirs with me is an essential part of all my closest relationships.
Which is another way of saying - you're awesome. Your awesomeness is housed in a body that asking a lot of you right now; tending to that body does not diminish your awesomeness, and I really appreciate how clear & upfront you are what's helpful / not helpful re: how other people relate to & process what you share about that body tending. It helps me do a better job of separating out my own anxieties and sitting on them firmly (obviously still a work-in-progress, eheu) and be more secure, more comfortable in just being present, just listening and hearing and being there, when you're going through hard stuff.
(It says something about the culture I grew up with that 'just being'/ not doing in the presence of someone's suffering can feel radical and subversive and weirdly unsettling - almost immoral in some fundamental way - but that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing; it just means there are some cultural hangups I need to get over ASAP.)
Anyway, this is very rambling. No need to reply; just wanted you to know.
no subject
Will make myself remember to ask up front whether you want fixing mind or listening ear when this subject comes up in the future; please also feel free & empowered to do the phone equivalent of bopping me on the nose - 'bit not good now, J.J.' (to steal a phrase from BBC Sherlock) / etc. - when I stray into unwanted territory on any subject and I will a.) stop, b.) thank you for it, and c.) wait for your cue on what you'd prefer to talk about instead.
That saying about good fences making good neighbors? Good boundaries are essential for good relationships; feeling comfortable about setting them with someone & trusting that they feel comfortable communicating theirs with me is an essential part of all my closest relationships.
Which is another way of saying - you're awesome. Your awesomeness is housed in a body that asking a lot of you right now; tending to that body does not diminish your awesomeness, and I really appreciate how clear & upfront you are what's helpful / not helpful re: how other people relate to & process what you share about that body tending. It helps me do a better job of separating out my own anxieties and sitting on them firmly (obviously still a work-in-progress, eheu) and be more secure, more comfortable in just being present, just listening and hearing and being there, when you're going through hard stuff.
(It says something about the culture I grew up with that 'just being'/ not doing in the presence of someone's suffering can feel radical and subversive and weirdly unsettling - almost immoral in some fundamental way - but that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing; it just means there are some cultural hangups I need to get over ASAP.)
Anyway, this is very rambling. No need to reply; just wanted you to know.