The people who communicate are out there. If you're ever tempted again, look for a classical dressage trainer (really hard to find in a riding school, sigh) - it's all about subtle communication and small changes and working together and getting to know your horse really, really well.

There are also some alternative trainers out there who are into communication and body language, but they are as much hit and miss as the competitive lot.

I want a _horse_. Right now, I'd settle for a place to ride, but even that is damn hard to find :-(