Seasonal depression hit me like a sledgehammer a few days ago. I'm coping, but it's a lot harder than usual. I was talking to a friend today and I mentioned that thing where you are so anxious-upset-whatever that it doesn't feel safe to go to sleep, even though sleep is probably something that would help your brain and my friend went OH THAT THING THANK YOU FOR NAMING IT. So yes, sleep is hard.
I'm having to do some things to cope with the current weight of the world, and I'd appreciate your help ~
I'm having to do some things to cope with the current weight of the world, and I'd appreciate your help ~
- currently on as much of a news fast as I can manage with the news everywhere. It's fine if you want to talk about the news in your own space, but please don't mention current events here unless it's on a post specifically about a news item. (For others on news fasts, I'm trying to keep them behind magic cut-tags.)
- please do not link any of my posts (even public ones) out at the moment without checking with me first; I'm having trouble people-ing right now.
- writing is helping! I just keep getting stuck. talk to me about writing, though general awareness of "different brains work differently" is greatly appreciated.
- as always, cute photos of animals, humor (light and dark humor), poetry, amazing!science and other things that make the world worth living are amazing and I appreciate you sharing.
Yesterday I had a self-care victory. I am going to write about it here because I need to record these small (and in a way, giant) victories against the dread beast Imposter Syndrome and Brain Weasel at Large and Depression so that when I am next in the deep dark depths, I can have a written guide to help lead me out of Moria (and avoid balrogs).
Because depression is a lying bastard, and it makes you forget that you have gotten better again. It makes you forget how you have gotten through its clutching claws and gaping jaws.
( tw: talking about recovering from self-harm/suicidal thought patterns; 2 nature photos under the cut )
Now let's see if I can do it all again next time it happens.
Because depression is a lying bastard, and it makes you forget that you have gotten better again. It makes you forget how you have gotten through its clutching claws and gaping jaws.
( tw: talking about recovering from self-harm/suicidal thought patterns; 2 nature photos under the cut )
Now let's see if I can do it all again next time it happens.
I love reading. I love peoples' lovely Yuletide fics.
If you're wondering why I haven't left a comment on your fic, or even read your fic, it's because I haven't been able to concentrate on fiction for over a year. It's been spreading to nonfiction lately, to the point where about the only thing I can read right now is shorter blog entries and knitting magazines.
It's a problem.
I don't know if it's the Lyme, my brain weasels, or what. It started around the time when I had a manic swing last year. It's extremely frustrating and slightly embarassing...but yeah. That's basically why I'm not commenting on your Yuletide fic right now.
If you're wondering why I haven't left a comment on your fic, or even read your fic, it's because I haven't been able to concentrate on fiction for over a year. It's been spreading to nonfiction lately, to the point where about the only thing I can read right now is shorter blog entries and knitting magazines.
It's a problem.
I don't know if it's the Lyme, my brain weasels, or what. It started around the time when I had a manic swing last year. It's extremely frustrating and slightly embarassing...but yeah. That's basically why I'm not commenting on your Yuletide fic right now.
First, the semi-sad but also I hope moving and compelling things:
- I made a post on![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bitesizedcleaning about cleaning when coping with a depression weasel storm. Comments and suggestions are appreciated.
-![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
staranise made a post about "relational bullying" and perfectionism that blew my mind (trigger warning: this may bring up intense emotions) ETA: Added the direct link, whoops.
Second,jjhunter is running a love meme (thank you, JJ!) and I have a thread that has SO MUCH LOVE, what I'd really like is for people to go and nominate other folks/themselves and just spread all the love around!
Third, the Sundaypoetree Picnic is happening.
And finally, I give you a recent finished knitted object I sent to someone who needed sparkles. Since they've received it, I can now share:
Close up of a knitted scarf with stripes of black yarn with sparkles in it, purple alpaca yarn with sparkles in it, and blue and black variegated novelty yarn with simple lace holes. Stripes travel vertically. Another photo of the whole scarf is on Flickr
- I made a post on
bitesizedcleaning about cleaning when coping with a depression weasel storm. Comments and suggestions are appreciated.-
staranise made a post about "relational bullying" and perfectionism that blew my mind (trigger warning: this may bring up intense emotions) ETA: Added the direct link, whoops.Second,
jjhunter is running a love meme (thank you, JJ!) and I have a thread that has SO MUCH LOVE, what I'd really like is for people to go and nominate other folks/themselves and just spread all the love around!Third, the Sunday
poetree Picnic is happening.And finally, I give you a recent finished knitted object I sent to someone who needed sparkles. Since they've received it, I can now share:
Close up of a knitted scarf with stripes of black yarn with sparkles in it, purple alpaca yarn with sparkles in it, and blue and black variegated novelty yarn with simple lace holes. Stripes travel vertically. Another photo of the whole scarf is on Flickr
Depression is a Lying Bastard Fest
Nov. 26th, 2012 12:57 pmIt has come to my attention that it is That Time of Year again for most people with SAD in the Northern Hemisphere, and that for many other folks Bad Things and/or Anniversaries seem to be piling up. At times like this, it is hard to remember that Depression is a Lying Bastard and that it *does* get better again.
So! A friend and I came up with the Depression is a Lying Bastard Fest. There are many ways to participate in comments below:
If this grows and becomes very popular, or if you have more ideas, feel free to spread the Depression is a Lying Bastard Fest to your own journal or comm! Also, I would love it if you linked back here so that we got more participants. ^_^
So! A friend and I came up with the Depression is a Lying Bastard Fest. There are many ways to participate in comments below:
- a gratitude list (because there are still good things in the world) or a list of good things
- something you are proud of (a la the Monday Pride thread)
- a funny poem (limmericks work well here)
- cute things! animals, babies, whatever floats your boat!
- anti-winter and/or anti-depression manifestos! This can be in the form of a poem or a simple declaration of "Fuck you, brain weasels, and your lying ways! I will not believe your lies!"
If this grows and becomes very popular, or if you have more ideas, feel free to spread the Depression is a Lying Bastard Fest to your own journal or comm! Also, I would love it if you linked back here so that we got more participants. ^_^
Living with depression
Jun. 15th, 2012 11:51 ambookblather has made a really excellent post about living with depression (tw for depression, anxiety, SI, and suicidal ideation) and she also gave me permission to signal boost. She hits the nail on the head as far as the depressive side of my bipolar episodes are concerned. Obviously, though, no two brains are the same so it might not be the same for you. If you are a person who (1) wonders what depression is like; (2) feels really alone in their depression and wants to know that other people deal with these horrible brain weasels too; (3) gives comments for a jolly good post; then I highly recommend checking out the link (assuming today is a day that you can deal with the triggers).
