lizcommotion (
untonuggan) wrote2013-11-12 05:21 am
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NaBloPoMo Day 12: I hate resting
I get sick a lot, and doctors always tell you to frelling rest. Well, I have news for them: resting is hard, especially when you have generations of the Protestant Work Ethic kicking around in the back of your brain telling you that you are only worthwhile if you "accomplish" things.
Yesterday I managed to rest because I was too tired to knit. Too tired to knit = yeahhhh, Houston, there's a problem. So I slept, a lot.
Today I am going to try to keep things low energy but not boring. Things on my low-energy list:
Yesterday I managed to rest because I was too tired to knit. Too tired to knit = yeahhhh, Houston, there's a problem. So I slept, a lot.
Today I am going to try to keep things low energy but not boring. Things on my low-energy list:
- write letters
- knit, if body allows
- sort papers (or digital files)
- steamy shower
- read a magazine (if lyrica cooperates >.<)
- etc.
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I'd be really screwed if a doctor told me I had to rest my right hand, though. Couldn't work at the computer, couldn't draw, would have trouble reading...
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Then, if I spend the day editing and solving internet problems (sitting still, not cooking beyond the microwave and ignoring the dishes), then I've still had an exhausting brain-work day. That doesn't count as rest at all because my brain's been fully engaged. Granted, I may have trouble sleeping because my body didn't move around enough, but brain work is still work.
Real rest, for me, is in doing things like listening to a book and playing spider solitaire for hours on end. Crochet is sometimes work, especially with tight gauge and a lot of increases/decreases. If it's a zen-state repetition with a loose gauge, then it's rest.
It can take a while (years, in my case) to internalize that Ordered Rest *is* work and the outcome from it is a healing, rested body. There are no points for stoically pushing through. The only points are for resting as ordered. Then you rack up new spoons. :)
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This? This is brilliant.
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So identify with this.
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I have learnt very forcefully the virtue of not working oneself to injury/death.
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Thank you for the reminder!
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somehow putting resting "activities" on my to-do list, and even allocating specific time for them (versus just "after I get the other (real, valuable) stuff done", helps me remember that they too are important activities.
I think it may also help that at least 2x a week I am standing in a yoga class, reminding other people that hey have busted butt for an hour just so they could feel "ready" for 5 minutes in resting pose --but not so they can earn it, because the right to just be isn't something you have to earn. It isn't the poses the make one ready--because everyone has permission to skip or modify any or all of the poses--it's just a long ritual to validate the permission we already have. Maybe repeating that--effectively meditating on it every week-- finally helps it sink in.
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I miss brain candy reading. Hopefully I'll get that back at some point. *sigh*
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Ugh. Yes, yes ,yes. >:(
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