In which communication is ineffective
Mar. 1st, 2016 08:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
untonugganNote: apologies in advance for the very gender binary language. I am using the terms the medical establishment uses for vaccine criteria which because medical establishment they are shitty, but I am also trying to be inclusive where possible. Just FYI totally skip the part behind the cut text if you need to.
So I like to think of myself as a fairly sympathetic listener. (Doesn't everyone tho?) This is harder in person than in text, because in text I get a sense to read something I was going to say and then erase it because I was about to offer unsolicited advice.
Also in person I sometimes freak out because I am somewhat rusty with humaning and so I just sort of ramble sometimes. Also also, if a nerd-out button gets pressed sometimes I start nerding and then forget we were actually supposed to be talking about the anxiety issue until I have rambled on about this cool thing I found out when I was researching the other day for...awhile. This sometimes also hits my social anxiety button, which means I just. keep. talking.
I am working on this. It is hard.
Recently I was talking about anxiety with a person who shall remain nameless, and the shitty visceral-ness of anxiety. And how anxiety's so toxic that certain medical people recommend not doing regular breast lump self-checks because the freaking out is more toxic than the rate of cancer actually detected. (Or something something like that?)
Anyway, health research is one of my nerd buttons. (My mom is a nurse, I grew up with "I saw the coolest parasite at work today!" as dinner table conversation. Then in college I was a peer sexual health educator and thought about doing public health, which basically means my filter for "these are things we don't talk about in public restaurants" or "check if there are children here before launching into certain topics" is something I have trouble gauging sometimes.)
So for reasons still unknown to me, when I was talking to my friend during their anxiety spiral, I started to PREACH the wonders of Gardasil (the vaccine for HPV, which is a sexually transmitted infection linked to cervical cancer, but it's recommended for young girl-people-with-cervixes-or-IDK-what-you-do-if-you're-intersex-or-on-T-when-you're-older).
Let me pause to preach for a moment. As of this 2013 study, the vaccine is reducing new HPV infection rates among teenage girls by 56%. As of this 2014 study, the states with the lowest rates of vaccination had the highest rates of cervical cancer (and conversely, the highest rates of vaccination had the lowest rates of cervical cancer). In other words, it does lower cancer risk.
Let me speak to you of the downsides of Gardasil, aside from whatever controversy surrounding vaccines and "omg people other than dudebros have sex for pleasure??? the slut shame! also my perfect little princess would never have sex so she does not need it ever" surrounds it:
But it's not like your 27th birthday hits and BOOM it magically doesn't work because your ancient crone blood turns the vaccine to dust when it enters the same room and then you develop fangs and suck the blood of everyone in the office and they become empty husks and you become young and beautiful. Um, that became a long metaphor. What I'm saying is, it's not the age that actually makes a difference. It's prior exposure. That's why they actually recommending your kid get the vaccine at age 12 or so, because who knows what will happen or what decisions they will make and should they not have protection? I've met someone who was 12 and had a baby, so. It's better to vaccinate everyone young.
So I was talking to my friend and I was like WAIT. You are over the age limit, but you would still be a candidate for the vaccine! And it could protect against cervical cancer [blah blah blah blah].
Which my friend heard as "You are totally at risk and probably going to die of cervical cancer" (because brain weasels).
Fortunately, they mentioned this. Because then I was able to clarify that it was good news, because what I actually meant was that: I know enough about their sexual history, also because I talk about sex and sexual health with people still, because I'm generally cool with that, because peer educator -- they probably would not have been exposed to all the strains of HPV that Gardasil protects against, and therefore they would still be a good candidate for getting the vaccine and having some level of protection and reduced risk of cervical cancer.
(Although because insurance is shitty, it would probably be out of pocket. And also painful and time consuming.)
Note: if you don't qualify for the magical "get protection from Gardasil" category because you've made decisions in the past (or decisions have been made for you) or whatever reason, it is still good things to know. Also no judgment from my part. Because if you are a person who does sexytimes things with people who are eligible for the vaccine (or can pay for the vaccine because they have insurance or whatever reason), your partner(s) getting protected can help you out. ALSO it's good to know in case your knowing can benefit a friend or young person or whomever down the line.
Also they're apparently coming out with a vaccine for people who don't have a cervix sometime, which I still am not sure how that makes a difference in how the vaccine works but I think it's good it's not just one group with the burden of getting vaccinated. (~like with birth control pills but that's another post~) It will also be interesting to see if/how the rhetoric changes about younger people getting the vaccine.
tl;dr If I am talking to you -- online or off -- and I nerd out at you about a thing and it actually increases your anxiety, please tell me to stop. I am probably telling myself to stop in my head but I forgot that I have the option to do that because I hit Awkward Land. I'm working on it.
And usually I am not this bad. I think. Also maybe now you know a thing about the vaccine for HPV that you did not know before! Or maybe you did.
(Also, if you want to nerd out about cool medical research and/or sexual health, lmk. I am probably down for that, even if it includes parasites. Probably especially if it includes parasites.)
So I like to think of myself as a fairly sympathetic listener. (Doesn't everyone tho?) This is harder in person than in text, because in text I get a sense to read something I was going to say and then erase it because I was about to offer unsolicited advice.
Also in person I sometimes freak out because I am somewhat rusty with humaning and so I just sort of ramble sometimes. Also also, if a nerd-out button gets pressed sometimes I start nerding and then forget we were actually supposed to be talking about the anxiety issue until I have rambled on about this cool thing I found out when I was researching the other day for...awhile. This sometimes also hits my social anxiety button, which means I just. keep. talking.
I am working on this. It is hard.
Recently I was talking about anxiety with a person who shall remain nameless, and the shitty visceral-ness of anxiety. And how anxiety's so toxic that certain medical people recommend not doing regular breast lump self-checks because the freaking out is more toxic than the rate of cancer actually detected. (Or something something like that?)
Anyway, health research is one of my nerd buttons. (My mom is a nurse, I grew up with "I saw the coolest parasite at work today!" as dinner table conversation. Then in college I was a peer sexual health educator and thought about doing public health, which basically means my filter for "these are things we don't talk about in public restaurants" or "check if there are children here before launching into certain topics" is something I have trouble gauging sometimes.)
So for reasons still unknown to me, when I was talking to my friend during their anxiety spiral, I started to PREACH the wonders of Gardasil (the vaccine for HPV, which is a sexually transmitted infection linked to cervical cancer, but it's recommended for young girl-people-with-cervixes-or-IDK-what-you-do-if-you're-intersex-or-on-T-when-you're-older).
Let me pause to preach for a moment. As of this 2013 study, the vaccine is reducing new HPV infection rates among teenage girls by 56%. As of this 2014 study, the states with the lowest rates of vaccination had the highest rates of cervical cancer (and conversely, the highest rates of vaccination had the lowest rates of cervical cancer). In other words, it does lower cancer risk.
Let me speak to you of the downsides of Gardasil, aside from whatever controversy surrounding vaccines and "omg people other than dudebros have sex for pleasure??? the slut shame! also my perfect little princess would never have sex so she does not need it ever" surrounds it:
- it's spendy as fuck out of pocket
- it really does hurt, but definitely less than what it protects against
- it is a three part series, which means you have to remember to go back to get the other parts at specific intervals (though getting part of the series does offer some protection)
- most insurance does not cover it after age 26 (it's stated to be effective when given to women ages 9 to 26)
But it's not like your 27th birthday hits and BOOM it magically doesn't work because your ancient crone blood turns the vaccine to dust when it enters the same room and then you develop fangs and suck the blood of everyone in the office and they become empty husks and you become young and beautiful. Um, that became a long metaphor. What I'm saying is, it's not the age that actually makes a difference. It's prior exposure. That's why they actually recommending your kid get the vaccine at age 12 or so, because who knows what will happen or what decisions they will make and should they not have protection? I've met someone who was 12 and had a baby, so. It's better to vaccinate everyone young.
So I was talking to my friend and I was like WAIT. You are over the age limit, but you would still be a candidate for the vaccine! And it could protect against cervical cancer [blah blah blah blah].
Which my friend heard as "You are totally at risk and probably going to die of cervical cancer" (because brain weasels).
Fortunately, they mentioned this. Because then I was able to clarify that it was good news, because what I actually meant was that: I know enough about their sexual history, also because I talk about sex and sexual health with people still, because I'm generally cool with that, because peer educator -- they probably would not have been exposed to all the strains of HPV that Gardasil protects against, and therefore they would still be a good candidate for getting the vaccine and having some level of protection and reduced risk of cervical cancer.
(Although because insurance is shitty, it would probably be out of pocket. And also painful and time consuming.)
Note: if you don't qualify for the magical "get protection from Gardasil" category because you've made decisions in the past (or decisions have been made for you) or whatever reason, it is still good things to know. Also no judgment from my part. Because if you are a person who does sexytimes things with people who are eligible for the vaccine (or can pay for the vaccine because they have insurance or whatever reason), your partner(s) getting protected can help you out. ALSO it's good to know in case your knowing can benefit a friend or young person or whomever down the line.
Also they're apparently coming out with a vaccine for people who don't have a cervix sometime, which I still am not sure how that makes a difference in how the vaccine works but I think it's good it's not just one group with the burden of getting vaccinated. (~like with birth control pills but that's another post~) It will also be interesting to see if/how the rhetoric changes about younger people getting the vaccine.
tl;dr If I am talking to you -- online or off -- and I nerd out at you about a thing and it actually increases your anxiety, please tell me to stop. I am probably telling myself to stop in my head but I forgot that I have the option to do that because I hit Awkward Land. I'm working on it.
And usually I am not this bad. I think. Also maybe now you know a thing about the vaccine for HPV that you did not know before! Or maybe you did.
(Also, if you want to nerd out about cool medical research and/or sexual health, lmk. I am probably down for that, even if it includes parasites. Probably especially if it includes parasites.)
