This is worth reading all the way through

• brigid posted a very helpful list of Retail (and Fast Food) red flags for anyone who's job searching, as a follow-up to Captain Awkward's more white-collar oriented Job Search Red Flags. Both are worth reading.


• sharpeningthebones has An open post for those who ned a safe space to vent, cheer, ask for help or anything else


• I have a thread there wherein I vent about Crohn's and in particular open up about why the colonoscopies &tc are particularly triggering for me. (TW: new medical diagnosis, dis/ability, sick pet, anger and an*l r*** survivor). Breaking the silence, what.


• Just a general FYI, I'm feeling really really shattered by this diagnosis in particular. I'm not sure why except that it comes on top of a very stressful week month year, so I'm feeling unlike my usual lovingkindness self and more...grumpy/grouchy. So if I come across that way, it is very much me and not you. Because being grumpy/grouchy is making me more grumpy/grouchy overall. Anywho, I deeply apologize if I offend in any way and ask that you gently bring it up with me if some of my actions really bother you/are problematic. Because I want to know/fix them.


• That being said, I just wanted to make a general heads-up that at this time I'm finding unsolicited advice extremely triggery and I ask that folks not make it on my journal space. Thanks to a certain someone for helping me realize I was falling into this trap myself, and for helping me do some serious self-examination about whether I wanted to consider making unsolicited advice in general. Here's a partial list of why it's problematic for me (note that it's not a Universal Experience):
  
  I may have/probably have already considered the options you're listing
  
  
  
  I may not have the cope to be in "problem solving mode" at the moment, and instead just need a shoulder to cry on. Offering advice closes down the emotional safe space for crying.
  
  
  Offering advice has an underlying tone of "You don't know how to fix this yourself," and disempowers the listener to solve their own problems
  
  Thank you for being considerate of my feelings and thinking about whether or not your comments contain advice before clicking post, because this is a big thing for me. If it happens often, I may give you a gentle nudge privately to remind you of my preferences. Just FYI.


• If I ask for advice (given certain caveats I may list in the post), then it's totally a different story and you're welcome (and indeed encouraged!) to give advice, etc.


• If the unsolicited advice thing is triggery for you, and I unintentionally slip up and give you unsolicited advice, just give me a nudge and I'll try to remedy my ways. If we don't make mistakes - and get reminded - then we don't learn, amirite?