Midsummer Conspiracies

[untonuggan]

I've always thought that people would have to be nuts to live in Midsummer (of fictional Midsummer Murders). Small communities, about three people die per episode, there's four-ish episodes per series, and 17 series so far. That's roughly 204 fictional murders since 1997, and all the British police have done is assign two rather bumbling detectives to the cases. Surely that much of a crime spike deserves a closer investigation...unless it's intentional?

Thus I present #MidsummerConspiracies, or alternate explanations for what goes on there. Feel free to play along.

• There is a very efficient serial killer there, who likes to kill in a variety of ways so as not to get caught. The police don't notice if the killer takes trophies, and the killer isn't doing it for public recognition or power. Or maybe the killer is one of the cops?
• It's a complex, multi-year study on how high the crime rate has to be in an area with good schools before the property values drop dramatically.
• It's a complex, multi-year study on adding drugs (or TOXINS) to the water supply to induce murderous rages over trifling insults in the general populace of Midsummer.
• Something something Dr Who crossover he's late and the aliens have been getting away with their mind control for far too long. But now, don't worry, the Doctor is here!
• One of the Doctor's previous companions is trying to get his attention with a weird murder spree, when really she just needs to go to a museum.
• (Warning: Dr Who spoilers) River Song is practicing for the big day.
• If everyone had stopped vaccinating their children, this wouldn't have happened. #pleaseknowthisisinternetsarcasm #vaccinessavelives
• It's like a murder chain letter, and if you don't kill someone when you get tagged then you're the next victim.
• It is a complex piece of performance art with lots of fake blood, and those who are arrested are let out a few hours later by Agatha Christie. She's waiting to see how long it takes the police to realize what's going on, and also testing out plot ideas.
• Each episode is actually the same day played over again, and a time traveler has been going back in time to try to create a day with NO murders for over a decade of our time. Unsuccessfully.
• ETA: It's a Wesen coming of age ritual that involves killing a human *specifically* in Midsummer. Possibly because there isn't a cop who is a Grimm there.
• ETA2: All the best families have a murderer these days. But only the right kind of murder. Not some silly dust-up over drugs. Nothing so crass. It has to be a gentle murder in a respectable place.

Comments

[syntaxofthings]

It's a complex, multi-year study on how high the crime rate has to be in an area with good schools before the property values drop dramatically.

*snorts*

also, River Song practicing for the big day. also,

It's a complex, multi-year study on adding drugs (or TOXINS) to the water supply to induce murderous rages over trifling insults in the general populace of Midsummer.

I'm gonna go have some gigglefits now.

[untonuggan]

I am glad you are having gigglefits. gigglefits are good.

[spiralsheep]

Overly keen local amateur dramatics company who keep getting carried away during their rehearsals?

I like this one best though: "Each episode is actually the same day played over again, and a time traveler has been going back in time to try to create a day with NO murders for over a decade of our time. Unsuccessfully."

[spiralsheep]

Or it's a documentary about typical Tory voters in the shires. ;-)

[untonuggan]

YES THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

[metanewsmods]

May we link this on metanews? We also post on LJ and Tumblr.

[untonuggan]

Sure!