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untonugganso the other day i went to my psychiatrist because seasonal depression was all HA i came AFTER the solstice, whatcha gonna do now? except the better verb is "dragged", i dragged myself there.
she's in a new office because she's with a mega-hospital group, and i am happy because insurance! she takes it, but unhappy because i share the waiting room with an urgent care office which means germs.
also, there is a TV instead of just calming music like her old office.
so there i am the other day, trying to hold my shit together while i wait for my dr, sitting awaaaay from the germy people, which meant sitting under the TV.
some soap opera ended, and a talk show came on. the guest was Lorena Bobbit, which was not great because while I commend her for doing interviews, "let's hear about someone's abusive marriage" in my psychiatrist's office is not conducive to me keeping my shit together. however, what made me go OH FUCK NO was that the (male) interviewer was all "hahahahha penises" and was very disrespectful.
now, let me pause for a moment to note the gendered reactions i noted to the interview.
when a woman showed up on screen and started talking about her abusive marriage, people presenting as female in the room glanced up from their phones or knitting or whatnot, paused for a moment, and then went back to what they were doing. in my case it was "oh, the media is showing more stuff about violating women's bodies? fff. well, that is to be expected." i did not notice masculine-presenting people really do anything different.
then lorena bobbit mentioned the words "penis" and "knife" in the same sentence. every masculine presenting person in the room (except for the psych front desk person, who was on the phone), FROZE in what they were doing, and stared at the screen. female-presenting people had already written the show off as not-worth-watching.
and i was FED UP with the Patriarchy and also what the hell is up with this show in a doctor's office waiting room? so i summoned a negative spoon and went up to the desk and asked one of the frozen masculine people if we could possibly change the channel or turn the TV off. as he considered where the remote might be, his colleague got off the phone. he did not know context, so he just saw "pscyh patient having a hard day who is upset asking for the TV to get turned off." so he went all "Ma'am, the TV is for everyone, but I can put you in a different room" and whisked me away to a group room with some stuff on the white board that made me rage internally about "From Love to Above" (i shit you not).
(then i texted various people i know snarky things and cried a bit, because wth, I did not appreciate being treated like a potentially unhinged crazy lady when I was in fact being an advocate for people not having to hear about domestic violence when they were sick and waiting to seek treatment.)
i *did* tell the front desk person what was on TV as he whisked me away, and I think they changed the channel after I left.
but Fucking A.
(although if I knew before I could go sit somewhere quiet if I complained about the TV, I'd start doing it every office with a TV on in the waiting room, especially the places with Fox news.)
so, I'm going to:
that is my latest rant about gender and medicine and also people thinking I'm a hysterical psych patient, all rolled into one. *sigh*
she's in a new office because she's with a mega-hospital group, and i am happy because insurance! she takes it, but unhappy because i share the waiting room with an urgent care office which means germs.
also, there is a TV instead of just calming music like her old office.
so there i am the other day, trying to hold my shit together while i wait for my dr, sitting awaaaay from the germy people, which meant sitting under the TV.
some soap opera ended, and a talk show came on. the guest was Lorena Bobbit, which was not great because while I commend her for doing interviews, "let's hear about someone's abusive marriage" in my psychiatrist's office is not conducive to me keeping my shit together. however, what made me go OH FUCK NO was that the (male) interviewer was all "hahahahha penises" and was very disrespectful.
now, let me pause for a moment to note the gendered reactions i noted to the interview.
when a woman showed up on screen and started talking about her abusive marriage, people presenting as female in the room glanced up from their phones or knitting or whatnot, paused for a moment, and then went back to what they were doing. in my case it was "oh, the media is showing more stuff about violating women's bodies? fff. well, that is to be expected." i did not notice masculine-presenting people really do anything different.
then lorena bobbit mentioned the words "penis" and "knife" in the same sentence. every masculine presenting person in the room (except for the psych front desk person, who was on the phone), FROZE in what they were doing, and stared at the screen. female-presenting people had already written the show off as not-worth-watching.
and i was FED UP with the Patriarchy and also what the hell is up with this show in a doctor's office waiting room? so i summoned a negative spoon and went up to the desk and asked one of the frozen masculine people if we could possibly change the channel or turn the TV off. as he considered where the remote might be, his colleague got off the phone. he did not know context, so he just saw "pscyh patient having a hard day who is upset asking for the TV to get turned off." so he went all "Ma'am, the TV is for everyone, but I can put you in a different room" and whisked me away to a group room with some stuff on the white board that made me rage internally about "From Love to Above" (i shit you not).
(then i texted various people i know snarky things and cried a bit, because wth, I did not appreciate being treated like a potentially unhinged crazy lady when I was in fact being an advocate for people not having to hear about domestic violence when they were sick and waiting to seek treatment.)
i *did* tell the front desk person what was on TV as he whisked me away, and I think they changed the channel after I left.
but Fucking A.
(although if I knew before I could go sit somewhere quiet if I complained about the TV, I'd start doing it every office with a TV on in the waiting room, especially the places with Fox news.)
so, I'm going to:
- make that Arduino thing that lets you turn off nearby TVs, because necessary and I will have the (stealth) POWER.
- write to the big mega board about what they show in their waiting rooms (but not the front desk guy, because I have to interact with him whenever I see my dr, and it is not worth making an enemy of him, and I think we are chill now even though I am still kind of offended)
- speak up more often (in person or after the fact) when there's TVs showing bullshit in waiting rooms.
that is my latest rant about gender and medicine and also people thinking I'm a hysterical psych patient, all rolled into one. *sigh*
