PSA: Please stop telling me I just need pockets & begin search for sapient pearwood

[untonuggan]

Today I weighed my purse because why not be mad about gender. I keep it as small as possible with as little extra change/papers/etc as possible, though I do carry a knitting bag with me or additional laptop bag if I'm going to write or something. Or bag' o' books or ereader for a long waiting room trip.

This bag is literally what sits on my shoulder when I'm out. I have tried the two-shoulder-option and also the fanny pack option, but both put pressure in different places that are also not fun. So. Here we are.

Total weight: 1 lb 5 oz (21 oz or or 595 grams)

Cell phone: 4 oz
Keys: 4 oz
Glasses, case so they don't get damaged, and sunglasses clips: 3 oz
Necessary things listed above: 11 oz, or just over half of the weight of my purse

Other things that live in my purse? Pen, lip balm, "feminine hygiene products", insurance cards, list of emergency meds, library cards, credit cards, a tiny bit of cash, metro card, a couple relevant coupons.

Sometimes emergency meds live in there, but at the moment there aren't any that are really helping except a tube of Voltaren whatnot which is messy.

Even subtracting for the weight of the purse, that's still about a pound of necessary items I'm supposed to just lug around what, in my very feminine tiny pockets somehow? Like the ones that are designed for a single locker key?

I am sick of a certain type of person complaining that I should somehow magically be able to carry everything in my non-existent pockets; or that somehow I should find men's pants that fit my curvy self and wear those for the pockets. Or that I should go on some sort of Purse Quest and find The Perfect Purse that will fit everything I need, always be organized, and not cause any pain. Or that fanny packs are the answer which they actually just put a lot of pressure on my low back.

I think the answer is clear. I think I need The Luggage. Failing any sapient pearwood, I maybe just need a service dog who -- among other very useful tasks -- can also carry maxi pads and spare change for me. I would suggest a robotic assistant, but I kind of worry about getting my period right in the middle of the AI singularity. Awkward.

Comments

[kittydesade]

And the wonderful thing about the Luggage is it eats people who offend you. Sometimes not even in a deadly way! Sometimes just to give them a small dark place to think about their offenses.

Yeah, right now my purse holds lip balm, my phone, my wallet, a couple flash drives and a couple lozenges, as well as the promise of either rocking out or kicking ass. And I do not understand people who insist you must Purse in This Particular way. I mean, dude. For those who like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like.

[spiralsheep]

I love you so much for weighing your handbag. ♥

[anke]

Well, there are "saddlebags" for dogs, but I'm not sure how those would work with service dog vests.

Anyway, sapient pearwood chest would be lovely. The bit where it cleans and folds your laundry is a nice bonus.

[chalcopyrite]

I recall an article, or essay, or perhaps just a thought somewhere, that talked about how we (collective-society "we") rely on persons with purses to have the things that are too much to carry in pockets. Like, if you need a kleenex, or maybe some aspirin, are you going to ask the lady with the purse, or the dude with capacious pockets? Right, the purse. And so the "just in case" things become necessary, because *someone* has to have them, and also become female-coded because purse.

I bought myself a new purse for birthday/holidays because I was tired of hunching my shoulder to keep the previous one in place (ow) and it would barely hold a book, and no knitting -- and it strikes me that I should weight the purse before it gets too full to ever empty again. Because there is also the bit where to carry around all these things we have to have, we need a container that is itself not feather-light.

There is a pear tree down in the wild orchard where toves gyre and gimble. Perhaps I should start breeding... ::side eyes::

[lilysea]

I would suggest a robotic assistant, but I kind of worry about getting my period right in the middle of the AI singularity.

Hee! ^_^

[lilysea]

Reasons cargo-pants with lots of pockets are not a solution for everyone:

- they are bad for people with thrush / vulval eczema/ vulval psoriasis/ vulval pain

- they are bad for people who can't tolerate the firm pressure of pants waistband on their lower back (chronic lower back pain), stomach (IBS), or thighs (ITB pain).

- not my lane, so a bit nervous of getting this one wrong, but I imagine they aren't great for people with gender dysphoria who feel happier in skirts.

[hunningham]

Also who wants to spend time doing the which pocket dance? A reason why bags are good - you don't have to check all the pockets.

[lilacsigil]

I have four pairs of plus size women's summer-weight pants with good pockets! They are all more than ten years old and have needed substantial repairs to get them that far, because I haven't found replacements yet, and I get mad that it's so hard to do so.

[jelazakazone]

<3 Love your sense of humor!

I knew someone who didn't carry a purse but always wore a vest with lots of pockets? Mb this could work some of the time?

[hunningham]

On the men's pants thing - I've been amused by the recent onslaught of bags for men. There's a certain point (keys, wallet, smart phone are all essentials) where pockets just don't carry all the stuff anymore and you've just got to man-up and get something bigger.

[tyger]

I fucking hate carrying a bag, but you're right - sometimes it's the only practical option. For me it's ipod-phone-wallet-changepurse-handkerchief, which I can fit into pockets sometimes! Particularly in winter. But other times I can't. Or I can technically but then I can't sit down.

Also lbr if you're not wearing the same clothes every time you go out, it's just EASIER to have things living in a bag you can pick up, rather than have to repack your pockets every damn time.

I dunno why you're so skeptical about robots though. How super great would, like, a personal R2D2 or BB8 be, that follows you around carrying your stuff. I mean. They're definitely not gonna keep your stuff away from you!

Also, thinking about it, this is probably one of the reasons people end up with super messy cars. They don't wanna go without $things but they also don't wanna carry them around. Which I guess kinda works if you drive everywhere, but seems even more impractical than bags to me... =/

ANYWAY. TL;DR THAT SUCKS I'M SORRY :( :( :( :( :(

[silveradept]

I am unimpressed that our technological abilities have not yet managed to create appropriate pocket dimensions in which to store all of our stuff.